I break the series of #TheFlateMatesFromHell to share this wee article. I ask that you forgive me for being so slack. There is another blog post that I have written that I won’t post openly that is very close to me. I ask you read this with an open mind and heart. I ask that you trust me when I say that, I am holding on. That 2016 is truly a hard year for me but it is almost over and 2017 has to be a lot better. So please read it here. Ground yourself and go and do something for someone else today.
Mondays are usually hard. They are hard to start. Waking up after a weekend is always difficult. The urge to stay in bed and roll over and fall back to sleep is all-consuming. You barter with yourself on how long you can stay there.
Today being the 1st of August I fought the urge to stay under the covers and let the world wake up around me. Though I knew I had already missed deadlines for my honours research I got up, hustled and drank two coffees.
2016 for me has been truly testing and I reveal that in my other blog post. I have moved house 4 times this year and felt like I have been running uphill since January. This weekend I packed my things into boxes, fell sick with a cold and then this happened.
I was on my way to university when my mum called me.
She was fighting the tears. She was short but clear. Our beloved furry family member, our dog Rosie passed away at 3pm. She was very loved, lived a full life and as I write with tears leaking out of my face I quietly remember how bad Mondays can be. Rosie was very sick and we were lucky to have her for so long.
My family is in mourning. I share this with you and ask for respect at this time.
I can’t really see the keyboard (ninjas cutting onions again) so if there is any spelling mistakes. Sorry about that.
I was talking to a friend of mine when he said to me that I have this ability to put on an act where everyone thinks I am okay. I laughed as I asked how did he figure it out. He said “Seren, you are crying and smiling at the same time. Yet you are asking me if I am okay.” I like to think that what I am going through isn’t as bad as it could be. I guess I always think there could be something worse. Though I know that this is a bad thing. I mask how bad things are and conceal it to those who care. I want to be there for other people. I like making people feel good. That is why I work in hospitality, that is why I got the nickname ‘Mother Duck’, that is why I will always ask you how you are. It is easier for me to take care of someone else rather than myself. I don’t let myself be sensitive. I am too busy for that and thankfully that saved my life. I struggle to be still, I struggle to switch off.
However being told your dog is being put down kinda brought me to a halt. I kept walking up the hill in the rain to University because I had emails to send.
My Monday is hard, yes. But I have places to be, people to attend to, I put myself well down the list of things that are important. I do that because that is how I cope. if you read the second blog post I did for one day put myself first. I didn’t like it.
I want you to know that the image I give you is sweetened, edited, adjusted and palatable. What I share with you on Facebook, Instagram even Snapchat is all that I want you to see and I highly believe you do the same. I am not trying to preach but I do not want this to come across as shocking. I am not out here asking for sympathy votes, messages or hugs. I am asking you, the readers who have supported me for over a year now. All 5275 of you to take deep breath and look at how you are doing.
Today is Monday. It is the 1st of August 2016.
Today was hard. Tomorrow will be hard. But it will not end us.