So we pick up where we left off. Emma, was well dealing and the rest of the house had no clue. She would be gone for three days to a week at the time. Back and forth from the unit, medication changing and life just continued on.
Jamie was struggling at work due to the lack of sleep, I was working at my new job getting home at around 1am after being on my feet for 6 hours. Creeping into the house I could always hear B playing his video games from the mouse clicking and chair re shuffling.
We had been the house now for a couple of months. Emma wasn’t home, away at the unit again. Jamie was in bed. I went to go make something to eat, maybe toast. However there were dishes everywhere, the sink was full and I wasn’t going to clean up someone else’s mess, not for what felt like the 1 millionth time. I also then remembered that we still had no vacuum cleaning. I had been sweeping the floors and been told that B’s step dad was going to give us one. Two months deep, two months of filth. I was falling apart at the seams. So I didn’t make toast, I thought a tasty shower would be better.
I put my phone down, jumped in the shower, washed away the day then got out and picked up my phone. I tried not to scream. Or smash my phone. Or wash my soul in bleach. I simply dealt with the situation like a boss, and sent this very aggressive message.
“Hey team sorry about the late message and the late shower. 1. I don’t care if you trim your bodily hair. 2. I do care when you use the kitchen scissors and then leave a disgusting fucking mess in the bathroom. Please clean this immediately. Thank you.”
B had trimmed his beard hair with the kitchen scissors and then just left them strewn everywhere, the floor, the bench, the sink. IT WAS TOUCHING MY TOES! My clean toes. I just wanted a shower. When I picked up my phone and it had a film of hair on it, then I am sure you can understand why my aggressive message was sent.
So I ask you now to do the math. No vacuum cleaner, a couple who didn’t care, a boyfriend who could barely sleep, a flat mate who was in and out of the psychiatric unit, I was starting to crack.
This wasn’t what I signed up for and well I am literally living in filth. So I washed my feet again, crawled into bed only to hear A and B start arguing. Again.