It looks like a ducks bill.

I am going to assume that most girls know what the topic line is about. You can laugh at that. You men can just continue reading. I have just finished writing a 1200 word essay on Frank Ocean and in my deep, panic thoughts my mind was tossing between taboo topics and societies stubbornness not to accept or talk about it.

Sex.

Hehe.

There is many topics that come along with sex and I thought I might do a series on it. Everything from contraception to society’s inability to talk about it. I am just going to start an open discussion. Open a door and leave it jammed there. Letting the information flow. I have to write a disclaimer that I am in no way a doctor or know 100% what I am talking about. I am going to talk about MY experience. Personal and raw I thought it would make for good reading. So if you find yourself thinking about anything I have written and want to know more. I might be able to help but you should go to your doctor because they are the ones who trained their whole life to help you. I am here to let you know that you shouldn’t be afraid of the topic of sex and ALL that comes with it. So shall we start with the topic of contraception. That wee gem.

Also I need to add this, if you read this and find yourself judging me. Close the door, walk away. This little community doesn’t need you. There is no judgment here. Never will be. So if you can’t handle this topic that’s okay. Stop reading. I write this because I received a very concerning email. Anonymously written it told me in great deal that the topics I confront on MY blog are not appropriate for society. Like I have stated before and as I wrote back to that individual. I am thankful for your opinion, it lets me know that people are reading hiddenunderthecovers. If the title of this blog didn’t give it away there is always an exit button. I am no way holding you here against your will, shoving this down your throat. I will bring topics to the masses that I think needs confronting. This is through a personal and not politically correct way. I swear and write how I think. Don’t like it? Click that stunning red button at the top of your screen and go back to where you were before I hurt your feelings.

SO. Contraception.

It should stop you from getting pregnant. Which is what most people are looking for. Babies are cool. I just don’t want them for 10 years thanks.

Where should you start?

Guys. Buy condoms. You can get a prescription for 144 of those bad boys. For $5. You are welcome.

Talk to your doctor. I had the issue that my doctor was someone I went to when I had a cold not when I wanted to have sex. So I went to family planning but in Nelson its called INP (independent nursing practice). Lovely ladies in there. You can just go in and chat with them about anything and ask all that you want. These people careers are based around people having sex. They know what’s up.

What should you consider?

MANY THINGS. When deciding on what you want to do you will be asked a whole bunch of questions. Family health history, sex history, and even period questions!

What am I on?

I was on the pill for a while (years). I had about 7 different types of “the pill” and discovered that my body doesn’t really like extra or blocking hormones. So I went off the pill for 3 months. It took my body 3 months to figure out how to be a body again. But I discovered that because I was on such a high  hormonal dosage I was literally a crazy woman. I had gained weight and turned into this horrible creature. So 90 days later I had lost some of my weight and my thoughts were now clear. What I had been thinking about was the fact that I now needed to get another form of contraception. Either the rod (the little hormonal stick in the inside of your arm) or an IUD (the weird-looking fish-hook that goes in your uterus) and whilst neither of those seemed appealing neither does a baby.

So I got an IUD back in 2012. It last 5 years and it has no hormones and my body and me seem to like one another. Despite my mother protest she doesn’t want another grandchild.

People do ask about what I have. Curious I guess.

Can I feel it? No.

Did it hurt to get? Feels like a cramp and there is slight discomfort but it’s over in 5 minutes.

Do I recommend it? Yes however talk to a doctor because they know what’s best for you.

How long does it last? 5 Years and you can get another one straight after.

What have you noticed since having it? Well I don’t seem to be as fat any more and much less a crazy woman. I also can see a cycle of woman stuff happening.

Downside? Pretty strong cramps. Nothing a heat patch and panadol can’t fix.

Can my boyfriend feel it? No.

Does it cost? Yes I can’t remember how much but under $100 for me. Cheap over 5 years.

How does it work? Foreign body object. The body think my uterus is not a safe place to grow a baby and the copper kills the sperm if there is any breakage with a condom. THIS IS MY INTERPRETATION. There is a hormonal version on the IUD.

Can you feel it? No.

Don’t you become infertile? There has been no conclusive study of this.

What I would really like everyone to know is that talking about contraception does not mean that you are having sex. It is used in all sorts of ways to help with health. It would be really lovely to remove that stigmatism around contraception. It is no longer “birth control” but a choice.

At the end of this week I am going to release another episode from this series (it’s a goodie) and I have to say sorry for not having a blog post for the past two weeks. University has been crazy.

Living in Auckland?

What is it like to live in Auckland? I am here to answer your lifelong question. Its a Friday evening here and I am currently in my apartment. (I do leave this couch sometimes) and I could describe to you what going on. I can hear The Neighbourhood playing on pandora (thanks Conrad) and Jamie making dinner searching for a lid to the pot and a giant protest on Queen Street. I do not know what about but every other week there’s something. I can see my fluffy blanket on my lap and the tv playing in the background. However if I was to take you outside on any given day this experience would be different.

Though its meant to be getting cooler now, you know how the season change and its Autum, that doesn’t apply here in the tropics because Auckland has four seasons in a day. THIS IS NO JOKE. NOPE.

4 BLOODY SEASONS A DAY.

Example:

Wake up. Its raining.

Puts on rain coat to leave.

Get halfway to destination and its the Sahara desert. Sun blazing, sweating and possible sunburn.

Arrive at place. Now there is a skin cutting wind. You start to think you are see through because the wind is crazy.

Leave destination and head for home. Its not calm and sunny.

The out of know where. Hail. Yep, fucking hail. ICE BALLS FALLING TO THE GROUND.

Auckland. 4 season. The wrath of some god.

Some of you are thinking I might be exaggerating this. There is only one thing that is consistent in Auckland. The humidity. Currently 82%.

So minus the weather whats it like to live up here. Mate there is a pace. A pace of life where everything is always on the go. The city is always on the move. There is no down time. 11pm on the streets is just as busy as 3pm. Coffee is produced in 1 minute and service is on point.

The food you ask and I can tell you is amazing. My bank account will speak for the both of us. You could have anything you wanted. Thai, mexican, sliders, cajun, korean BBQ, pasta, dumplings. Anything, google and go.

The nightlife you say? Well. There will be a door charge and never buy a redbull and vodka in town. But the girls are on fire, and the man buns are now thank god few and far between. The music is ever changing. From Wednesday through to Sunday. There is always a place to go. Catch some of the biggest acts chilling in clubs and rub shoulders with some amazing down to earth people. Also boys like Moet. Yep.

What is it like to be classed as a JAFFA? Or in what I was nicknamed J.A.A (just another Aucklander). Meh, not that horrible nor amazing. I do understand though when I meet a born and raised Aucklander. Couldn’t explain it but can just tell. Sixth sense or something!

Cost of the city of Sails? Well its not cheap. Its not getting cheaper. Countdown metro is a pile of crap and New World metro is the most expensive supermarket in NZ! Rent is the same price if you live in the city like me or 20 minutes out. I live in a two bedroom apartment that is above Whitcoulls on Queen Street. Rent is $570 a week including water and that is cheap. There is also a housing crisis up here so its not fun finding places to live.

People think Auckland is a horrible place to live. Thats not the truth, you can’t decided that till you live here. I can guarantee you will never be bored.  If you ever need a place to stay, let me know!! I have a nice couch and another mattress.

From this J.A.A to you have an amazing night and come see me at some point!!!

How to get over your ex boyfriend.

Ah what a topic. Like a burn and a paper cut rolled into one. An ex-boyfriend is weird. The whole idea that you go from being fully committed to someone, knowing who they are and what they are doing to strangers in a week.

Now if I ever have children, I hope that they are strong enough to get through heartbreak and all that comes with it.

I was talking to a friend of mine about a week ago when he asked me “how much do you think you have changed?” I was walking home and standing at the lights I personally didn’t think I had changed that much. But thats the thing. I had changed. If not changed then grown. When I met this young man I was completely broken. Whole heartly ruined. I was heartbroken.

I was 17. Young and eager. I went from being a girl who was happy to being a dark energy going through the motions. When this young man met me he saw me go from my worst to the woman I am today. He said to me that I was “a girl dangerously close to throwing it all away.” And I was. Thats the thing about being 17 and in love. There is not point in which you say to yourself to stop giving. You pour your life and soul into someone else without thinking and when it all ends you can only say it was half your fault because you couldn’t stop yourself. You fed a demon called a relationship until you ran out of whatever it ate and it all fell apart. So where do you go from there? You are broken, empty and well shit, you just want to sleep for forever.

This is what I suggest. No matter how it ended.

  1. Take a nap. Lie the heck down and curl up for a few hours.
  2. Turn your phone off. The world will be there when you come back.
  3. Cry your eyes out. This won’t take much. Place cold flannel on eyes. Thank me later.
  4. If you ended the relationship remind yourself why. You made this decision for a reason.
  5. If the other party ended the relationship then remind yourself that it wasn’t meant to be and the universe has a much bigger and better plan for you than him.
  6. Take a long shower. Not a bath.
  7. Find an animal. Cats are great but anything that you like. Could be a bearded dragon. You don’t know.
  8. DO NOT GET ANGRY. This will not help.
  9. Take some deep breaths.
  10. Make a cup of tea. You won’t feel like eating.
  11. Tell your parent. By simply saying “Me and _____ are over and I would really just like a hug.”
  12. Tell your parent that you are not ready to talk about it if your not. You will just get angry at their questions.
  13. Make a nest. Blankets and tissues.
  14. Then clean your room. Its like hitting reset on something in your life.
  15. Contact a friend and let them do what they do best and be there for you.
  16. Have some alone time but not at 3am.
  17. You might not sleep so write what you are thinking about.
  18. Go on facebook and do the deed of ending the relationship. Make this unseen. Don’t be that girl.
  19. Do not talk to other person for a few days. See that you can survive without them.
  20. Go out on a big walk with your friend. The wild does wonders.

Look I have been through all the motions and it bloody hurts. And the one piece of advice I can give you is to give time, time. Nothing is going to make it go quicker. You just have to keep going and you can do that. You do not need them to live. What I also must tell you is that there is no ‘moment’ when you get over an ex. For every single person it is different. It may just be a day you didn’t think about them or no emotion towards them. There is two things that no one told me when I was 15 and about to have a serious relationship for the first time. 1. you will leave a bit of you with them and you can never gain it back. 2. you won’t give yourself to wholeheartedly to another person until they deserve you.

May I leave you with telling you that you are amazing. That you exist because you are the perfect distance from the sun with a body that has a beating heart and working functions. You are more than you could ever know and this will not hold you back.

From a mother duck to her ducklings. I am here if you need me.

Reasons why and why not to work in hospitality

Let us get right to it. I have collaborated along side some of my hospitality members (thank you Tina, Jason and Orla). I have worked in hospo (if you don’t know what that word is then I feel sorry for you) for about 3 years. Which for some people is hardly no time at all. Personally I think every human being should have to work in hospo for at least 6 months to understand. As the saying goes; a person who is nice but not nice to the waiter is not a nice person.

I know there are some of you who are out there not sure if you should go into the hospitality sector or you think its easy. I can say no its not easy. We just make it look that way. So here is the list.

Reasons why?

  • Its a very social job.
  • Flexi hours.
  • Meet some amazing and interesting people.
  • Creates interpersonal skills.
  • Networking; leads to other jobs etc.
  • Free food. Depending on how amazing your boss is. Mine is amazing.
  • The ‘Regulars’.
  • Makes your more empathetic towards people in the service industry.
  • Keeps you patient.
  • You have amazing work stories.
  • Can be super sassy.
  • You learn many training styles.
  • A now mostly smoke free environment.
  • You get to sell amazing products.
  • You become amazing at time management.
  • You appreciate good hospitality.
  • You can travel with the skills you learn.

Reason not to?

  • You realise how horrible the human race is. If you snap your fingers to summon me then you do not get a smile.
  • You do have to work weekends.
  • Unsocial hours.
  • You work long hours.
  • Crap pay to begin with.
  • Work with the same people every day in some places.
  • You watch people have fun.
  • You go home smelling like food.
  • There is a lot of sexist nature.

What I can tell you is that its a job that is forever changing and challenging. I would highly recommend going for it. If anything you will learn and understand what happens behind the scenes. If anything you will tip when you do get good service because you know what that is. If you work in hospo then please share/tell me your stories or reasons!! Would love to know!! Enjoy your Saturday night and be nice to your waiter.

You don’t even know.

Today is Tuesday. It is also day two of the first week of uni. Auckland University thinks its a great idea to start so late. I mean its March. You know the third month into the year. But hey we do things differently way up here.

I would like to apologize for not having any recent blog posts. I have been rather blah. And I have been sorting my life out. Plus working. Being short staffed is not a fun time. I can tell you that now. I think I still need to sleep for a month to catch up.

I feel like just chatting to you all as I sit here on the couch. So, how are you? Are you well? (Like you can talk to me) Shall we discuss some things that have pissed me off lately. Shall we list them. I like doing that.

  1. People who don’t understand how lucky their situation is. Being the most basic of basic bitches. Please complain, thats what I wanted on my first day of university. A giant black cloud pouring out with rain. Take your weather elsewhere.
  2. Swollen glands. Mate, bain of my life. Can I not sound like a man. thank you.
  3. Heat. Humidity. Dammit Auckland. STAAAAAPH.
  4. People who do not smell themselves being entering into public. Yo, if I can smell you after you have been in an area. Go and deal with yourself. No one finds it sexy. Not in the slightest.

Is anyone else having trouble sleeping? Or are you all counting your sheep? Do you know what is scary is that I turn 21 this year. Jessica in my class said this “20 is such an ugly age”. And now that I think about it. I fully agree. Like what is 20? Icky. What’s worse that 20? Being 20 and engaged. Or married. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? If your news feed is anything like mine, full of babies and marriage. Last night a girl popped on my news feed, now engaged. She was born in 1996. 1996 people. SHES TURNING 19. When I was 18 I had to deal with study link. Not dimond rings. Each to their own. Just not in my 5 year plan. NO ONE GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE, YA HEAR?

You want to know an honest thoughts? I am just going to tell you anyway because you can’t say no. I have no idea what I am writing. Really its all word vomit and you are still reading. Congratulation friend. I really want a terrarium and some flowers. Lillys to sit in my bedroom and smell lovely. I am rather pissed off with one of my friends. Have been for a few months. The guy at the gym judged me for only working out for 30 mins. He doesn’t know I have a major back injury or study dance. He now sees me and comments on how long I work out for.  My mum who reads this blog. (Hey Jenny.) Told me that I missed the boat on my career and thinks I should do this all the time. Writing blogs. I thought with a debt owing to the government I could do both.

Its my last year of University and I am really not sure on whether or not I will do postgraduate studies. I could do my honors. Just a year and be done with it? I don’t know anything anymore. So watch this space.

10 Things my Ex Boyfriend taught me.

I was sitting in the park eating my brown rice, salmon and avocado sushi when it occurred to me the last time I had thought about my Ex Boyfriend. Now don’t get me wrong, you wont find me thinking about my past boyfriend all the time. But I can’t straight out lie and say I never think of him. So there I was, ‘enjoying’ Auckland’s heat (which is just humidity on steroids) and I caught myself deep within thought about how that damn boy is. What would he be doing on a Friday afternoon and where he was with his life plans. What one should note is that my Ex and I don’t talk. We aren’t friends on Facebook and I am 99% certain he blocked me on instagram. (Took that to heart way more than I should of). But for you to understand where we both are in our lives and for this to add up to something then you need some background information. There will be those of you who know who I am talking about and in no way is this to shame or hurt him. Just understand this:

  • We were together for a year and a half.
  • We lived 504km apart and felt every single bit of distance.
  • We saw each other face to face every three months.
  • We were both very busy people.
  • We broke up because we were on different paths.

He was/is the most amazing guy. I hold no bitterness towards him and do wish him the best in life. I am not angry nor do I get upset at him for not wanting to have a friendship. I do wish he would just let me know that he is okay.  Wishful thinking right? But out of the ashes this is what he has taught me:

  1. There is not enough hours in the day. No matter how much you time manage.
  2. Distance is no excuse not to have a relationship.
  3. Communication is key. If its a call, text, letter, skype, facebook just send it.
  4. Sometimes you have to be the grown up in the situation. And sometimes that sucks.
  5. Go out for dinner. Don’t stop courting one another. Dress up and be nervous like that first date.
  6. Be sure you know who you are before the relationship. Its who you are at the end of it all.
  7. Be open. With the past, with ideas, with resolutions, with help.
  8. Keep going. Don’t stop because it gets a bit hard.
  9. Pancakes can be eaten at any time of the day.
  10. People do genuinely care.

Reflecting on my past relationship I remind myself that these lessons were taught to me during the partnership and when it came apart seam by seam. What we had was amazing but it wouldn’t of lasted a life time because we were both very strong people with big life goals. It was just that these goals were on a trajectory heading further and further away from one another.

Now, like I said we don’t talk. There are certain days were he will be on my mind because of reason I don’t wish to disclose.  I do offer an olive branch on these days not hoping for a friendship, but as a gentle reminder that I am still here to talk. We were best friends at the end of it all.

So where does this leave us now? From what I know (I keep an ear close to the ground) my Ex Boyfriend is busy, healthy and with that I would assume happy. So thats where I will leave it. Take what you want from your past relationship and turn it into lessons for life. Otherwise it was a waste. And we don’t want that do we?

5 things every girl living in the city should be able to do.

Mastering city life can be a little tricky but if you can do these 5 things, then congratulations on being a well established gal.

  1.   Be able to go for lunch by herself and not feel embarrassed.  I think that there is nothing sweeter than watching a girl sit in a cafe and just be herself whilst having a coffee and a bagel.
  2.  Baking. Straight and simple baking. Coming from a girl from a small town. Filling an apartment full of the smell of brownies. Nothing can compare and make one feel more at home.
  3. Your “other hand” nails. I’m right handed and mastering painting my left hand has been one of the greatest challenges.
  4. Know when to be delicate and when to be a bad ass. If someone bumps into you on the main street is no reason to cry however if your room mates have not cleaned their dishes in 3 weeks that when you put your foot down. Your not a animal.
  5. To live independently from family and friends. No financial help. No constant checking up. No google. To know the answer to a problem without having to ask for help.