A List Of People I Hate. In Detail.

It may be the merry time of the year but its also that time of the year where we all sit back and look at the people who fucked us up and over. Its now and not at new years when most people think about that list of humans who should crawl under a rock and stay there. I was in the shower when it occurred to me that I am ruthless when it comes to friendships. Cheers for that mum. I mean I honestly need to do a Facebook detox and get rid of everyone who I don’t care about. Those popular girls from school already did that.

I won’t shed a tear guys, Im good.

So a list that comprises of the people who just make my eyes roll back into my head, sigh loudly and then stare into their eyes with no remorse. Its 2015 and I am bloody ruthless mate.

  1. Bad drivers, those who don’t indicate. People are landing on the moon, you can flip a switch.
  2. Slow walkers anywhere, this is not a time for slow moving. We all have somewhere to be. Kick it up a gear thanks.
  3. Customers who try tell you how to do your job. You don’t work here, your not my boss. Shhhhhhh, baby please.
  4. BIG ASS DRIVING MOTHERS AND THERE SHITY HAIR CUTS.
  5. The girls who are trying to sell me a waist trainer in the mall. If your selling pitch is “clearly your mum blessed you, pay her and the world back by getting our waist trainer”. I blessed myself thanks. I don’t owe anyone anything right now, at least not with my body.
  6. Anti-femminst. Its almost 2016. Equality shouldn’t be scary anymore.
  7. Anyone who is late. Without communication. If your prompt we can all get going.
  8. INTERRUPTING ANYONE. If you are this person, I gave you your chance to talk and now it is mine. If you butt in, I will start again. Same line, same way. Till you get it.
  9. Stubborn low lives who cannot get off their so called high horse to be a reasonable human being.
  10. That person who stole your car park at the during christmas hours. Special place in hell for you.
  11. Dudes who share nudes. Y’all need to grow up.
  12. People who cancel plans at the last minute, or who never show up. I see you, I see how it is. Ass hole.
  13. Those people at the airport who try get on the plane before they are called.
  14. If you don’t use deodorant. B/O is not cute.
  15. That woman who asks for a half shot decaf latte bowl. Or decaf short black. No. You can have a cup of no.
  16. People who use their phone in the movie theatres. Its dark in here. But not with your giant spot light.
  17. That girl in the club who spills her drink all over you because she’s upset that her fuckboy ran away.
  18. Those people who hold a conversation with you to only prove that they are doing better in life than you. Take your Nike Shoes, Karen Walker sunglasses  and skim milk coffee all the way out of my life.
  19. That upperclass business man who scoffs at having a career in the arts. Ya, you can go back to sitting behind a desk and work for ‘The Man.’
  20. People who try convince you to have a relationship with their God. Im good, trying to have a relationship with myself. Thats hard enough.
  21. Fuckboys.
  22. People who flick sand off their towel at the beach all into your face.
  23. If you yell. I automatically assume that we cannot have an adult conversation.
  24. Bathroom hogging mother fuckers.
  25. Liars. I see you too.

I mean come on, you have to admit, someone on this list pisses you off too. That person at the airport. Always.

Please leave a comment of who pisses you off and why. Write it down and let it go. This is your chance before 2016.

Why I Almost Didn’t Go To University

It’s something I didn’t really tell people and when I do it just kinda falls out. Like a confession or something. I am about to graduate and go on to do another year but in post graduate studies and in reality I question what the f**k I may be doing if I didn’t end up in Auckland. (Side thought am I a Jafa now? Do I need to apply to be one? Do I get a medal?) So why did I almost not go to uni? Well there are a couple of reasons.

  1. I actually missed the deadline for my applications. The day the applications closed I realise and freaked out. Lord I lost it. My stunning mother came to my rescue and saved my ass. Also  the man I spoke to at Auckland Uni calmed me down and said it should be fine. (I didn’t trust him but he had a soothing voice). I had to get my photo taken, see a JP and get everything back in time. It wasn’t a pleasant experience and I keep a very close eye on the deadlines. Lesson learnt. Cheers mum.
  2. I wasn’t sold on studying dance. Honestly my 18 year old self was thinking “you are going to be broke for life”. Seriously no one in Nelson makes money from dance unless you run a dancing studio. Teaching your 5 year old kids for the rest of my life didn’t see that amazing. And this is where it gets interesting, I was going to become a paramedic. Ha, gotcha. Give me blood, gore, broken bones and chaos and I find a very strange calm in it all. It was halloween and myself and a few friends were heading up to a friends house for dinner, a swim and many beers when we rolled back from Kaiteriteri to his private gate. The damn thing wouldn’t open. (you should know he has a lot of money). So sitting in the back seat I saw something on the driveway. A bike and what looked like shoe. Thinking it was a practical joke I jumped out then yelled at Jacob who’s house it was because there was a body and a lot of blood. No practical joke here. All real and a 3 meter fence between us and this kid. Every one in the car thought we were in on the joke as we threw ourselves over the fence. He was in and out of conciseness and it was Jacobs nephew. He was in shock and all our phones were dead, so as Sumer raced up to call 111 Jacob and I assessed him. I couldn’t figure out why the gate wasn’t opening and then the blood trail told the story. He had come down the hill on his brand new race bike that wasn’t even installed with brakes when he had come down the hill on his sandals and smashed his body into the gate instead of making the turn to go up the side track. A broken collar bone, wrist, ribs and a fractured skull. Really a good job all round. It was reflecting upon this when I though I would go and study to become a paramedic.
  3. I really really really wanted to go see the world. I was a tumblr girl and lord when someone binge posts on overseas images. You want to go. To run. Im 21 and still haven’t been out of NZ. (Im freaking out that I will never leave.) The wish list is Canada, Greece, Egypt, North Pole and a few others! I could of worked and gone but I guess I am just waiting.

Its been a three years, and I only have one week left. Still have stupid summer school but lets be honest its the most chill 6 weeks ever. I have shows which you should all come to because that would be nice and I would love not to be a loner. You know I am still not sure if I should of gone to university and I am still not sure if I enjoy it or if I want to do postgraduate. But I would be shit head if I dropped out now. I mean I made it this far and didn’t kill myself with my cooking or lack of sleep so clearly I can do another week.

So I am just going to be writing my last written assessment tonight for my general education paper that 50 fucking percent. I would like a wine but tea will be fine. Still trying to adult.

32 Things I Have Learnt Living With a Boy

So at the start of the year I moved into an apartment with my partner (he’s the one in the photo, if you needed me to point that out) and I won’t lie when I say I was nervous. Honestly I wasn’t sure if it was the right idea. We had been together for 7 months and I had just spent a month living at his house with his mum. (She has an amazing house, perks of having an interior designer as a mum). I was on the hunt for an apartment or room for myself and my other flat mate when a property in the middle of the city popped up. It was perfect, I knew the previous tenants and I had been there before. The place was great minus the price tag. $540 for a two bedroom new york styled apartment. Fully furnished. Just waiting for someone to live in it. You do the math. Two girls cannot afford $270 plus expenses whilst studying. But between three. Well.. thats how Jamie came into play. None the less we have the apartment and have been living here since January. Nick named ‘The Hot Box’ because the loft can reach above 30 degrees. A mere when you are trying to sleep.

So what have I found out whilst living with a boy/man/lad/gentleman for the first time….

  1. Everything has a place. If you want something it will be in its place. So stop asking.
  2. There is twice as much washing. So many t-shirts. I now have 3 washing baskets.
  3. I don’t have to cook every night.
  4. Supermarket shopping takes three times as long if there is no plan.
  5. You have to organise your week with someone else.
  6. Romantic showers don’t really exist.
  7. Milk never last longs.
  8. Neither does snacks.
  9. I own most of the wardrobe.
  10. We have separate desk and work stations because we have different shit going on.
  11. There is a nice side to the bed. We rotate on who feels worse.
  12. Toothpaste is always running out.
  13. Jamie can now do my back for fake tan.
  14. He is also my stylist.
  15. He is my reminder to do work.
  16. I am a very tidy person. Now Jamie is too. Though he hates our vacuum.
  17. Its okay if you forget your keys because someone else has a set.
  18. Alone time is nice.
  19. I still hate folding washing.
  20. If one of you is sick. There is no hope for the other person.
  21. Seeing your family now involves both of you. There is no “how are you?” its “how are you both?”
  22. Date night still is a thing. Once a week. When you have time.
  23. Someone can always click my back.
  24. Buying food happens 3 times a week.
  25. My chap sticks are always disappearing.
  26. He likes my soup and I like his pesto pasta.
  27. You have your top cheerleader with you always.
  28. Someone will cover you up in a blanket when you fall asleep on the couch.
  29. Boys hate the doctors. With a passion.
  30. Having alcohol with your meal makes your a classy couple.
  31. People think its weird when your not together.
  32. Taking a nap is not as easy when someone wants to play video games.

I could go on, but maybe I will do a 2.0 version of this list. So the end of the year is coming about and my mother is already asking me what my plans are. Honestly I am just trying to make it to the end of the week. Let alone what my plans are. I know that 1. I will be doing summer school and then graduating. 2. I am mostly certain of doing my honours degree and 3. I will be in Auckland. The other plan is that I will live with Jamie, but the Auckland property market is horrible and so bloody competitive. Want a house. Thats nice. You can fight it out with 40 other people. Like families and very professional couples. Good luck. So the adventure continues. Its been a while since we chatted but I have some good post coming out. But honestly please let me know if there is something you want me to talk about. Im all ears. You have me line, hook and sinker.

Also if you haven’t go and like our page. https://www.facebook.com/hiddenunderthecovers?fref=ts because I post things on there I don’t post anywhere else.

All my love XOXO Gossip Goat. aka Seren. Im getting all weird again. Guys this is why we must talk every week.

All my friends are engaged, married or pregnant and I am over here trying to poach an egg.

For all of you who are not engaged, married, or pregnant. Trying to adult. You are not alone.

Just so you know, this isn’t my poached eggs. Stolen from the internet. Food porn.

So I rolled out of the hospital last week after three nights surrounded by 3 ladies drugged up just like me. I came home with discharge notes, medical certificate and a prescription. As soon as I got home I realised in my haste to get out of there (I don’t like hospitals) I had left my teddy there. Yes laugh, my teddy. His name is teddy and he has been with me since I was born. Knitted when I was still in the womb he means a lot to me. Jamie brought it up to me on day two of the hotel from hell to soothe me through morphine doses with a dash of tramadol. So I had to be an adult, ring the hospital and ask them to find my teddy.

Hospital 1, Seren 0.

Now I am 20… 21 is October. Young, sassy and still growing. I was scrolling through my Facebook when another one of my friends was now pregnant.

Thoughts?

  1. No.
  2. Yep.
  3. 13 weeks.
  4. January.
  5. No drinking for you.
  6. Do we have cider in the fridge still?
  7. No alcohol for two weeks. Doctors notes.
  8. A tiny human.
  9. ALIEN.
  10. Baby tracker is kinda gross.
  11. Babies.
  12. Why?
  13. OH SHES ENGAGED TOO.
  14. What?
  15. When?
  16. Scans Facebook profile.
  17. TO HIM?
  18. No.
  19. Yep.
  20. Wow.
  21. We went to primary school together.
  22. I thought I was on track.
  23. What is life?
  24. What am I doing?
  25. Should I be worried?
  26. Yes.
  27. You are well behind.
  28. I don’t want kids for a long time though.
  29. I am 20.
  30. Biological clock though?
  31. IM TWENTY.
  32. Lots of time.
  33. 15 more years at least.
  34. I still haven’t seen most of the Disney movies.
  35. I am still a child.
  36. No young adult.
  37. I couldn’t handle a poop machine yet.
  38. Adult, that I am.
  39. I lost my teddy.
  40. Not even close to taking care of another human.
  41. I want a cat.
  42. Yep.
  43. Kitty.
  44. Could I get a cat in my apartment.
  45. No.
  46. Random cat flap that goes out to nowhere just 6 floors down.
  47. Right.
  48. Okay.
  49. F**k.

*scrolls newsfeed more*

  1. ARE YOU F**KING SERIOUS.
  2. YOU ARE MARRIED TOO?
  3. YOU WERE JUST ENGAGED
  4. THAT WAS A SHOCK.
  5. Cute dress.
  6. Only one photo for me to cry at?
  7. Why?
  8. You are my age and married.
  9. Have you seen the world?
  10. Who is he?
  11. Oh yes.
  12. He was with your friend for a while.
  13. Never liked him.
  14. Good luck.
  15. No I am being sincere.
  16. Adult Seren.
  17. SH*T, GOD DAMMIT.
  18. Why?
  19. Where are you going?
  20. What is your life plan?
  21. Do I need to be engaged?
  22. No.
  23. HA.
  24. No.
  25. Thank you.
  26. *Hisses at screen*
  27. Should I save for a house?
  28. I haven’t left NZ yet.
  29. Need to finish my degree.
  30. Oh lord.
  31. I am not at uni next year.
  32. Out and about.
  33. LIVING.
  34. Thats okay.
  35. How do you adult.
  36. I can do it.
  37. I am doing it.
  38. Eggs.
  39. Poached.
  40. How?
  41. Googles how to….poach eggs.
  42. Heck yeah I can do this.
  43. Poaching like a boss.
  44. TO THE KITCHEN AND BEYOND!

*quietly sings to self about not being married, engaged or pregnant. With a dash of freedom*

Just saying I can poach eggs. They were delicious. Two of them.

I have so many questions. Why is everyone engaged, married or up the duff? This is the new normal. There seems to be a wave of people I know who are advancing and ticking of the appropriate adult things. I mean my ex is now married to a girl 6 months older than me. When I found out he was engaged to be. I laughed and almost made a t-shirt saying “dodged a bullet”. Almost. But now he is apart of the normal and I am over here eating avocado and eggs on toast trying not to get it on my white shirt.

Truth of the matter is growing up so quickly freaks me the f**k out. Bills, food shopping, cleaning and maintaining the life I have with my significant other is stressful enough. Throw in University, work and the fact that our elevator is not working again makes me anxious. Just so you know, I now own a blazer, blouse and two sets of dress pants. TWO. I also have business cards. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM A 20 YEAR OLD?

You are being silently killed, sweetie.

So it was late at night and I had just finished another long shift at work when the regular debate of “if we watch a movie; what should we watch” comes up. Jamie a sucker for a horror and me who can’t get enough of documentaries compromised and we settled on. FED UP. A documentary about te obesity epidemic in America. I know what you are thinking. Here we go Seren we know why they are over weight and sick: bad food and no excerise. You and I friend are both wrong. So so wrong.

I must tell you now I fell asleep before the end of the film and am currently writing this not knowing the end of the film. But what they present to you is so compelling I can fault them. Sure two sides to every story but mate this is a crazy story.

Here’s the kicker you are being slowly killed by your food. Just one ingredient. Sugar.

Though this film is based in the USA. It does present statistics from NZ. Ding dong we are not excluded.

So I knew sugar was something our bodies don’t actually need. It’s not like salt which we do need and minerals, sugar is the natural cocaine that we gourge ourselves on.  That it’s bad for your teeth and it’s in our soft drinks. That it should be a treat like substance and that we are lucky to have it. Boy, was I wrong. I don’t meant to be crude but blunt because SUGAR IS THE DEVIL.
There I said it. Done. Wow. Shit that feels great.  Fun fact in America tomato paste is classed as a vegetable. Don’t believe me then look it up!

So after a quick chat ad a soild thought about the whole topic of sugar I have decided to go sugar free for 10 days and see how I go. It’s currently days two and I’m feeling good. Coffee is strong.

What I am also excited to announce is my 3 month transformation thanks up Ruby! A person trainer and a babe from waaaaaaaay back. I have offered my body/soul to her. 5 days of training and clean eating. I will do a proper mol post later on, so hold on to your hats.

My advice/opinion is to check out the film and come to your own thoughts. Your health cannot be bought by money and you only have one body. But 10/10 would recommend. Sugar companies are crazy as f**k. Scratch the surface and you will be surprised. I am super excited about the next 10 days!

P.s I’m scared too and coming out of a horrible cold.

P.p.s I really want a holiday.

 

HAND ME THE TWINK.

With all this jibber jabber about #callmecaitlyn, sexuality and sex are very much in the headlines.

Hand me the twink is all about correcting and rewriting our parents mistakes and making our own future.

But I am here to talk to you about sex in this third blog post.

Sex and generation Z, its now or never really.

Despite what you think we are the generation that is changing the ideas behind what our parents raised us on.

Sex, gender, sexuality, feminism, equality was not our parents concern. They were after the war but before the revolution. I see them as chameleons. Adapting to their surroundings in order to survive. So if we are not the war children and we are not the ones fighting the war; who are we?

What we should get straight right away is that sexuality and gender are two separate things. If you didn’t know this then like I have said in the past go and educate yourself on the difference. My generation taught me that not my parents.

So who are we? Generation Z?

It seems to be the question for so many of us. Where are we going? What do I mean to society? Where is my place? Do I matter? Am I an individual?

Throw sex and all that comes with it into the mix and I can tell you that we are all slightly lost. Here is what I can help you with.

Your sexual desire, orientation, what you do under the covers or out is none of my business and as long as you are happy and not hurting someone else then go right ahead!

THERE IS DIFFERENT TYPES OF SEX? NO WAY?!

The idea that people like different types of sex still freaks people out. There is a lot out there. You have no idea! Not everyone is a vanilla lover (vanilla means regular sex) there is many flavors and you won’t know what you like until you try some out. There is BDSM, which covers a lot of things. Please don’t use Fifty Shades of Grey for your information. Bad idea. There is vanilla sex, which is what most people think of when it comes to sex. If you want to break it down there is non-penetrative sex, there is penetrative sex, there is vaginal sex, there is anal sex. Honestly most people are just scratching the surface and if that’s what you like then good on you! No one knows they like to be honest. Until you have tried almost everything. I think it rather interesting that we know what sex is but we had to find out that sex means a lot of different things to other people. What I am getting at is that there are different options out there for different people and we will break these down over the next few weeks. Looking at the do’s and don’t’s for all of them!

Then I have this MASSIVE ISSUE with the idea of “virginity”. We have been raised with this idea that when we have sex for the first time we lose something, this thing. The value of this ‘purity’ is worth waiting for a very long time before you ‘gift’ it to someone. When I ‘lost’ my ‘virginity’ it was a shit storm of a time. Not romantic. It happened and I was led to believe that I was going to feel different. I just felt very confused and lost. Betrayed by this idea that I had just been given a gift by someone else. But I was still me, no more or no less. I just wish that people wouldn’t put such a big value on the damn thing. If I have any advice for those of you about to have sex for the first time. Please hold no expectation. None. Its going to be awkward and horrible. Just know that. What is interesting is that my “gift receiver” and I still talk and chat about how funny we were because we were so clueless. That we still have this connection and despite what I think about the idea of virginity, it is the first time that I was intimate with someone and that is for me what makes him special. That is my value on it.

To put it in short I hope that generation Z makes this world better by the time we leave it. I want to be apart of society that is equal and that doesn’t bring its children up on lies. You have nothing to gift and nothing to lose. You will not become a woman because you already are. You are not born perfect and that the body you have might be the one you don’t want. You can be whoever you want to be and I will accept you for who you want to be.

My only gift to you is one of an open door. Ready for you to walk through and leave our past generations society at behind. So pass me the twink and lets get to it.

The 5 Sex Lessons They Don’t Teach You In High School.

So the saga continues.

Lets get in it balls deep. (My jokes are in no way ever going to be funny. We already know this but I will write them out any way cause I am a sassy gal)

Picture theses situations:

  1. Talking with a boy about sex. He says “so are you on the pill?” you say “no” and then there is this awkward tension because he hasn’t put two dots together and assumes that the pill is the only contraception. I HAVE HAD THIS SITUATION. Also had the awkward explaining that it (an IUD) looks like a fish hook but is inside me. IN NO TONE CAN YOU MAKE THIS SOUND APPEALING. If your man doesn’t know that there is other contraception out there other than the pill and a condom you should just highlight this moment. Possibly move him along.
  2. If you are about to have sex and your man say “do I have to” in regards to wearing a condom. GET UP. Do not say a word and leave. Close the door and delete his number. Yall think I am joking really Im not. Also on this same point you should not have to ask for him to wear a condom. Because the situation of you staring at him and then his dick whilst he takes his 45 second break to do the one thing he HAS to do. Real romantic. There is no if’s or but’s round this one. Goes for both girls and guys.
  3. You should be getting an STI check after every sexual partner. BOTH OF YOU. You should have a conversation about when you had one last and it should not be judgemental. It also gives you both peace of mind. If they have never had one, you should highly recommend that they do.
  4. You should also have a conversation about what is okay and what isn’t in terms of in the bedroom or outside. You don’t know. This can be as straight forward as a checklist. (There is lots online) Or a game of 40 questions. Know your boundaries and others. You might discover that you both like something but are a little too shy to say.
  5. Your sex life should also be private. No one wants to walk in on their significant other talking about your intimate details to other people you don’t know. “She loves it from behind.” *walks in, opens front door* “you can let yourself out.”

These are some of the situations in which you should take action or act upon. What I am trying to say is teach each other many things, maybe it is how to talk about sex or that their behaviour is unacceptable.

Next week we will continue on talking about this stunning topic of sex. Let me know if there is anything you really want me to address and write about. Short and sweet on your Friday night.

It looks like a ducks bill.

I am going to assume that most girls know what the topic line is about. You can laugh at that. You men can just continue reading. I have just finished writing a 1200 word essay on Frank Ocean and in my deep, panic thoughts my mind was tossing between taboo topics and societies stubbornness not to accept or talk about it.

Sex.

Hehe.

There is many topics that come along with sex and I thought I might do a series on it. Everything from contraception to society’s inability to talk about it. I am just going to start an open discussion. Open a door and leave it jammed there. Letting the information flow. I have to write a disclaimer that I am in no way a doctor or know 100% what I am talking about. I am going to talk about MY experience. Personal and raw I thought it would make for good reading. So if you find yourself thinking about anything I have written and want to know more. I might be able to help but you should go to your doctor because they are the ones who trained their whole life to help you. I am here to let you know that you shouldn’t be afraid of the topic of sex and ALL that comes with it. So shall we start with the topic of contraception. That wee gem.

Also I need to add this, if you read this and find yourself judging me. Close the door, walk away. This little community doesn’t need you. There is no judgment here. Never will be. So if you can’t handle this topic that’s okay. Stop reading. I write this because I received a very concerning email. Anonymously written it told me in great deal that the topics I confront on MY blog are not appropriate for society. Like I have stated before and as I wrote back to that individual. I am thankful for your opinion, it lets me know that people are reading hiddenunderthecovers. If the title of this blog didn’t give it away there is always an exit button. I am no way holding you here against your will, shoving this down your throat. I will bring topics to the masses that I think needs confronting. This is through a personal and not politically correct way. I swear and write how I think. Don’t like it? Click that stunning red button at the top of your screen and go back to where you were before I hurt your feelings.

SO. Contraception.

It should stop you from getting pregnant. Which is what most people are looking for. Babies are cool. I just don’t want them for 10 years thanks.

Where should you start?

Guys. Buy condoms. You can get a prescription for 144 of those bad boys. For $5. You are welcome.

Talk to your doctor. I had the issue that my doctor was someone I went to when I had a cold not when I wanted to have sex. So I went to family planning but in Nelson its called INP (independent nursing practice). Lovely ladies in there. You can just go in and chat with them about anything and ask all that you want. These people careers are based around people having sex. They know what’s up.

What should you consider?

MANY THINGS. When deciding on what you want to do you will be asked a whole bunch of questions. Family health history, sex history, and even period questions!

What am I on?

I was on the pill for a while (years). I had about 7 different types of “the pill” and discovered that my body doesn’t really like extra or blocking hormones. So I went off the pill for 3 months. It took my body 3 months to figure out how to be a body again. But I discovered that because I was on such a high  hormonal dosage I was literally a crazy woman. I had gained weight and turned into this horrible creature. So 90 days later I had lost some of my weight and my thoughts were now clear. What I had been thinking about was the fact that I now needed to get another form of contraception. Either the rod (the little hormonal stick in the inside of your arm) or an IUD (the weird-looking fish-hook that goes in your uterus) and whilst neither of those seemed appealing neither does a baby.

So I got an IUD back in 2012. It last 5 years and it has no hormones and my body and me seem to like one another. Despite my mother protest she doesn’t want another grandchild.

People do ask about what I have. Curious I guess.

Can I feel it? No.

Did it hurt to get? Feels like a cramp and there is slight discomfort but it’s over in 5 minutes.

Do I recommend it? Yes however talk to a doctor because they know what’s best for you.

How long does it last? 5 Years and you can get another one straight after.

What have you noticed since having it? Well I don’t seem to be as fat any more and much less a crazy woman. I also can see a cycle of woman stuff happening.

Downside? Pretty strong cramps. Nothing a heat patch and panadol can’t fix.

Can my boyfriend feel it? No.

Does it cost? Yes I can’t remember how much but under $100 for me. Cheap over 5 years.

How does it work? Foreign body object. The body think my uterus is not a safe place to grow a baby and the copper kills the sperm if there is any breakage with a condom. THIS IS MY INTERPRETATION. There is a hormonal version on the IUD.

Can you feel it? No.

Don’t you become infertile? There has been no conclusive study of this.

What I would really like everyone to know is that talking about contraception does not mean that you are having sex. It is used in all sorts of ways to help with health. It would be really lovely to remove that stigmatism around contraception. It is no longer “birth control” but a choice.

At the end of this week I am going to release another episode from this series (it’s a goodie) and I have to say sorry for not having a blog post for the past two weeks. University has been crazy.

Living in Auckland?

What is it like to live in Auckland? I am here to answer your lifelong question. Its a Friday evening here and I am currently in my apartment. (I do leave this couch sometimes) and I could describe to you what going on. I can hear The Neighbourhood playing on pandora (thanks Conrad) and Jamie making dinner searching for a lid to the pot and a giant protest on Queen Street. I do not know what about but every other week there’s something. I can see my fluffy blanket on my lap and the tv playing in the background. However if I was to take you outside on any given day this experience would be different.

Though its meant to be getting cooler now, you know how the season change and its Autum, that doesn’t apply here in the tropics because Auckland has four seasons in a day. THIS IS NO JOKE. NOPE.

4 BLOODY SEASONS A DAY.

Example:

Wake up. Its raining.

Puts on rain coat to leave.

Get halfway to destination and its the Sahara desert. Sun blazing, sweating and possible sunburn.

Arrive at place. Now there is a skin cutting wind. You start to think you are see through because the wind is crazy.

Leave destination and head for home. Its not calm and sunny.

The out of know where. Hail. Yep, fucking hail. ICE BALLS FALLING TO THE GROUND.

Auckland. 4 season. The wrath of some god.

Some of you are thinking I might be exaggerating this. There is only one thing that is consistent in Auckland. The humidity. Currently 82%.

So minus the weather whats it like to live up here. Mate there is a pace. A pace of life where everything is always on the go. The city is always on the move. There is no down time. 11pm on the streets is just as busy as 3pm. Coffee is produced in 1 minute and service is on point.

The food you ask and I can tell you is amazing. My bank account will speak for the both of us. You could have anything you wanted. Thai, mexican, sliders, cajun, korean BBQ, pasta, dumplings. Anything, google and go.

The nightlife you say? Well. There will be a door charge and never buy a redbull and vodka in town. But the girls are on fire, and the man buns are now thank god few and far between. The music is ever changing. From Wednesday through to Sunday. There is always a place to go. Catch some of the biggest acts chilling in clubs and rub shoulders with some amazing down to earth people. Also boys like Moet. Yep.

What is it like to be classed as a JAFFA? Or in what I was nicknamed J.A.A (just another Aucklander). Meh, not that horrible nor amazing. I do understand though when I meet a born and raised Aucklander. Couldn’t explain it but can just tell. Sixth sense or something!

Cost of the city of Sails? Well its not cheap. Its not getting cheaper. Countdown metro is a pile of crap and New World metro is the most expensive supermarket in NZ! Rent is the same price if you live in the city like me or 20 minutes out. I live in a two bedroom apartment that is above Whitcoulls on Queen Street. Rent is $570 a week including water and that is cheap. There is also a housing crisis up here so its not fun finding places to live.

People think Auckland is a horrible place to live. Thats not the truth, you can’t decided that till you live here. I can guarantee you will never be bored.  If you ever need a place to stay, let me know!! I have a nice couch and another mattress.

From this J.A.A to you have an amazing night and come see me at some point!!!

She didn’t. Oh yes she did.

What is the plan?

After attending a show last night which posed very big questions on religion I thought I would share with you all what I ‘believe’ in. What I want all of you to know that as long as you are happy, safe and well then please continue on with your life.

I was brought up my parents with always having an option. I was christened in the Nelson Cathedral in a white dress and shoes to match. I was brought up by my parents to always be thankful. For the food that you are given and they chances you have in life.

My family values I would say now that I am a little bit older are as follows:

  • Be honest. Always.
  • Be respectful.
  • Be happy.
  • Hold no secrets.
  • Clean up after yourself. (I struggled with this one.)
  • Forgive.
  • Do not stand for others ignorance.

My mum and dad are two people I can say are aging gracefully. Falling back into their youth one day at a time now that they have an empty nest. Skyping them I have to be an adult. My father has found many ways to make my mother cry with laughter and being 504km away its hard not to miss them. Without fail they tell me they love me and they always ask me if I am happy.

Growing up my parents didn’t take me to church. However I have been many of times with my sister to see what the fuss is all about. I can say it just wasn’t for me.

Though we weren’t a family at church we had our own beliefs. If it was meant to be then its meant to be.

I may only be 20 but I have come to understand that there will always be someone who will disagree with you. I attended a college which had some religious aspects but all in all my home town is not deeply religious. However when I moved to Auckland I found that a lot of people are religious. I live in a city where attending some sort of church is normal and I am a minority since I do not practice a faith.

During O-week I was stopped by two individuals who wanted to speak about Jesus Christ. I didn’t have any where to be so I listened. After they were done they said “what do you believe in?”

Simply I said: “the universe has a plan for me, I just won’t know till the end.”

So now you are asking yourself what the front door is this girl on about.

Here is what I think about most things:

  1. we are all born equal. we all die equal.
  2. if you respect me then I will respect you.
  3. there are second chances if you know you did wrong the first time.
  4. stand up for who you are. there is no one else who will care for you  as much as you.
  5. just because something scares you does not make it wrong.

My news feed is full of everything. “God answers parents prayers” “A buddhist monk could still be alive because his body was found in the lotus position” “Test tube babies are the future.” “Vaccines are not longer the answer but they problem.” “Where will your God be when global warming hits?” Scroll, scroll, scroll.

Have an educated opinion please. That is all I ask.

You are worth that much. At least.

So no I don’t believe in any god. I believe that there is some sort of plan. A series of events that will make your life. My faith lies with me. Only I can make changes that I want to. For that I am thankful.

Thankful that I am a Powell-Jones. Just little me. With gangly legs and arms. Maybe I was a gazelle in another life.