32 Things I Have Learnt Living With a Boy

So at the start of the year I moved into an apartment with my partner (he’s the one in the photo, if you needed me to point that out) and I won’t lie when I say I was nervous. Honestly I wasn’t sure if it was the right idea. We had been together for 7 months and I had just spent a month living at his house with his mum. (She has an amazing house, perks of having an interior designer as a mum). I was on the hunt for an apartment or room for myself and my other flat mate when a property in the middle of the city popped up. It was perfect, I knew the previous tenants and I had been there before. The place was great minus the price tag. $540 for a two bedroom new york styled apartment. Fully furnished. Just waiting for someone to live in it. You do the math. Two girls cannot afford $270 plus expenses whilst studying. But between three. Well.. thats how Jamie came into play. None the less we have the apartment and have been living here since January. Nick named ‘The Hot Box’ because the loft can reach above 30 degrees. A mere when you are trying to sleep.

So what have I found out whilst living with a boy/man/lad/gentleman for the first time….

  1. Everything has a place. If you want something it will be in its place. So stop asking.
  2. There is twice as much washing. So many t-shirts. I now have 3 washing baskets.
  3. I don’t have to cook every night.
  4. Supermarket shopping takes three times as long if there is no plan.
  5. You have to organise your week with someone else.
  6. Romantic showers don’t really exist.
  7. Milk never last longs.
  8. Neither does snacks.
  9. I own most of the wardrobe.
  10. We have separate desk and work stations because we have different shit going on.
  11. There is a nice side to the bed. We rotate on who feels worse.
  12. Toothpaste is always running out.
  13. Jamie can now do my back for fake tan.
  14. He is also my stylist.
  15. He is my reminder to do work.
  16. I am a very tidy person. Now Jamie is too. Though he hates our vacuum.
  17. Its okay if you forget your keys because someone else has a set.
  18. Alone time is nice.
  19. I still hate folding washing.
  20. If one of you is sick. There is no hope for the other person.
  21. Seeing your family now involves both of you. There is no “how are you?” its “how are you both?”
  22. Date night still is a thing. Once a week. When you have time.
  23. Someone can always click my back.
  24. Buying food happens 3 times a week.
  25. My chap sticks are always disappearing.
  26. He likes my soup and I like his pesto pasta.
  27. You have your top cheerleader with you always.
  28. Someone will cover you up in a blanket when you fall asleep on the couch.
  29. Boys hate the doctors. With a passion.
  30. Having alcohol with your meal makes your a classy couple.
  31. People think its weird when your not together.
  32. Taking a nap is not as easy when someone wants to play video games.

I could go on, but maybe I will do a 2.0 version of this list. So the end of the year is coming about and my mother is already asking me what my plans are. Honestly I am just trying to make it to the end of the week. Let alone what my plans are. I know that 1. I will be doing summer school and then graduating. 2. I am mostly certain of doing my honours degree and 3. I will be in Auckland. The other plan is that I will live with Jamie, but the Auckland property market is horrible and so bloody competitive. Want a house. Thats nice. You can fight it out with 40 other people. Like families and very professional couples. Good luck. So the adventure continues. Its been a while since we chatted but I have some good post coming out. But honestly please let me know if there is something you want me to talk about. Im all ears. You have me line, hook and sinker.

Also if you haven’t go and like our page. https://www.facebook.com/hiddenunderthecovers?fref=ts because I post things on there I don’t post anywhere else.

All my love XOXO Gossip Goat. aka Seren. Im getting all weird again. Guys this is why we must talk every week.

What is it like to have a sassy personality?

So I am writing this as I wait for my tan to dry. Its August and Im a pale bitch who needs some sun kissed skin. Now it occurred to me that my Q&A might not be a roaring success cause all you people (sitting there reading this slumped behind your laptops) know me well enough. Well you curious bastards this is what you get and if you don’t like it well then don’t keep reading.

Your still here aren’t ya?

Well, shall we answer the question about being sassy?

Definition:

Sassy 

possessing the attitude of someone endowed with an ungodly amount of cool.
Now more often than not I get told that I am so sassy.
That I have a sassy pony tail (what ever that means)
That my jokes are so sassy (I make terrible jokes)
That I approach life with sass (mmmm k.)
Heres a something that really happened. I had a performance review somewhere and they told me I was too sassy. What does that even translate to? As in how do I walk away from this conversation? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? On the scale of sassiness where do I score? 1 being a weak toddler who just wants a cookie to 10 which is a woman in the middle of a fight presenting information from 2 years ago with specific dates and times. Can you please place me on the scale because I am not dealing with this amount of grey.
Now don’t get me wrong having sass is not wrong. Do what you want with the damn word. I would agree I am sassy but of course always in a good way. I sit here now writing a few shades browner and confused about where the hell this bit of writing is going but alas we must continue.
The best quote that I was given to me by a male who thought he would let me know that I have a sexy bum. Conversation went like this.
I was walking through a super market picking up dinner when suddenly la wild man appears (we were in the tea section)
Man: Damn girl.
Seren: Excuse me?
M: You have a sexy bum.
S: Who asked for your opinion?
M: I thought I would give my input.
S: You thought wrong mate.
M: Im not your mate but I can be?
S: How about you just f**k off back to your shopping?
M: Girl, don’t be like that. You ain’t gonna to get a man like that.
*Seren takes a step forward to said man*
S: You need to get off what ever boat your own. F**k back off to the hole you crawled out off.
You are just a disappointment to society.
M: Calm your tits sassy girl.
*Seren now pointing and raising her voice.
S: I swear to god I will ruin you. If you don’t turn around and continue with your poor tea selection.
*Man makes Pssssh noise and turns around*
LE WILD SEREN FINDS SECURITY
*See man being escorted out of the supermarket.*
Honestly cat calling isn’t okay. BUT THATS ANOTHER DAY KAAAAAAAY.
I couldn’t explain what it is like to be ‘sassy’ but it is apart of me, I guess. The word will probably die out and something else will come to replace it then I will be that but for now I am a sassy 20 year old. But its empowering to know that people almost fear what will come out of your mouth though your a lady. (Sorry Dad about my language.)
Look be who ever you want. Just be a kind human being. Be proud of you. I mean I can poach an egg now and can adult. My life is working out with a touch of sassiness. So I will flick my pony tail and take my sad jokes with me and be fine. Your welcome. From me. XOXO Gossip Goat.
p.s this place is bloody funny.
 http://thesassiestplace.tumblr.com

HAND ME THE TWINK.

With all this jibber jabber about #callmecaitlyn, sexuality and sex are very much in the headlines.

Hand me the twink is all about correcting and rewriting our parents mistakes and making our own future.

But I am here to talk to you about sex in this third blog post.

Sex and generation Z, its now or never really.

Despite what you think we are the generation that is changing the ideas behind what our parents raised us on.

Sex, gender, sexuality, feminism, equality was not our parents concern. They were after the war but before the revolution. I see them as chameleons. Adapting to their surroundings in order to survive. So if we are not the war children and we are not the ones fighting the war; who are we?

What we should get straight right away is that sexuality and gender are two separate things. If you didn’t know this then like I have said in the past go and educate yourself on the difference. My generation taught me that not my parents.

So who are we? Generation Z?

It seems to be the question for so many of us. Where are we going? What do I mean to society? Where is my place? Do I matter? Am I an individual?

Throw sex and all that comes with it into the mix and I can tell you that we are all slightly lost. Here is what I can help you with.

Your sexual desire, orientation, what you do under the covers or out is none of my business and as long as you are happy and not hurting someone else then go right ahead!

THERE IS DIFFERENT TYPES OF SEX? NO WAY?!

The idea that people like different types of sex still freaks people out. There is a lot out there. You have no idea! Not everyone is a vanilla lover (vanilla means regular sex) there is many flavors and you won’t know what you like until you try some out. There is BDSM, which covers a lot of things. Please don’t use Fifty Shades of Grey for your information. Bad idea. There is vanilla sex, which is what most people think of when it comes to sex. If you want to break it down there is non-penetrative sex, there is penetrative sex, there is vaginal sex, there is anal sex. Honestly most people are just scratching the surface and if that’s what you like then good on you! No one knows they like to be honest. Until you have tried almost everything. I think it rather interesting that we know what sex is but we had to find out that sex means a lot of different things to other people. What I am getting at is that there are different options out there for different people and we will break these down over the next few weeks. Looking at the do’s and don’t’s for all of them!

Then I have this MASSIVE ISSUE with the idea of “virginity”. We have been raised with this idea that when we have sex for the first time we lose something, this thing. The value of this ‘purity’ is worth waiting for a very long time before you ‘gift’ it to someone. When I ‘lost’ my ‘virginity’ it was a shit storm of a time. Not romantic. It happened and I was led to believe that I was going to feel different. I just felt very confused and lost. Betrayed by this idea that I had just been given a gift by someone else. But I was still me, no more or no less. I just wish that people wouldn’t put such a big value on the damn thing. If I have any advice for those of you about to have sex for the first time. Please hold no expectation. None. Its going to be awkward and horrible. Just know that. What is interesting is that my “gift receiver” and I still talk and chat about how funny we were because we were so clueless. That we still have this connection and despite what I think about the idea of virginity, it is the first time that I was intimate with someone and that is for me what makes him special. That is my value on it.

To put it in short I hope that generation Z makes this world better by the time we leave it. I want to be apart of society that is equal and that doesn’t bring its children up on lies. You have nothing to gift and nothing to lose. You will not become a woman because you already are. You are not born perfect and that the body you have might be the one you don’t want. You can be whoever you want to be and I will accept you for who you want to be.

My only gift to you is one of an open door. Ready for you to walk through and leave our past generations society at behind. So pass me the twink and lets get to it.

The 5 Sex Lessons They Don’t Teach You In High School.

So the saga continues.

Lets get in it balls deep. (My jokes are in no way ever going to be funny. We already know this but I will write them out any way cause I am a sassy gal)

Picture theses situations:

  1. Talking with a boy about sex. He says “so are you on the pill?” you say “no” and then there is this awkward tension because he hasn’t put two dots together and assumes that the pill is the only contraception. I HAVE HAD THIS SITUATION. Also had the awkward explaining that it (an IUD) looks like a fish hook but is inside me. IN NO TONE CAN YOU MAKE THIS SOUND APPEALING. If your man doesn’t know that there is other contraception out there other than the pill and a condom you should just highlight this moment. Possibly move him along.
  2. If you are about to have sex and your man say “do I have to” in regards to wearing a condom. GET UP. Do not say a word and leave. Close the door and delete his number. Yall think I am joking really Im not. Also on this same point you should not have to ask for him to wear a condom. Because the situation of you staring at him and then his dick whilst he takes his 45 second break to do the one thing he HAS to do. Real romantic. There is no if’s or but’s round this one. Goes for both girls and guys.
  3. You should be getting an STI check after every sexual partner. BOTH OF YOU. You should have a conversation about when you had one last and it should not be judgemental. It also gives you both peace of mind. If they have never had one, you should highly recommend that they do.
  4. You should also have a conversation about what is okay and what isn’t in terms of in the bedroom or outside. You don’t know. This can be as straight forward as a checklist. (There is lots online) Or a game of 40 questions. Know your boundaries and others. You might discover that you both like something but are a little too shy to say.
  5. Your sex life should also be private. No one wants to walk in on their significant other talking about your intimate details to other people you don’t know. “She loves it from behind.” *walks in, opens front door* “you can let yourself out.”

These are some of the situations in which you should take action or act upon. What I am trying to say is teach each other many things, maybe it is how to talk about sex or that their behaviour is unacceptable.

Next week we will continue on talking about this stunning topic of sex. Let me know if there is anything you really want me to address and write about. Short and sweet on your Friday night.