You are being silently killed, sweetie.

So it was late at night and I had just finished another long shift at work when the regular debate of “if we watch a movie; what should we watch” comes up. Jamie a sucker for a horror and me who can’t get enough of documentaries compromised and we settled on. FED UP. A documentary about te obesity epidemic in America. I know what you are thinking. Here we go Seren we know why they are over weight and sick: bad food and no excerise. You and I friend are both wrong. So so wrong.

I must tell you now I fell asleep before the end of the film and am currently writing this not knowing the end of the film. But what they present to you is so compelling I can fault them. Sure two sides to every story but mate this is a crazy story.

Here’s the kicker you are being slowly killed by your food. Just one ingredient. Sugar.

Though this film is based in the USA. It does present statistics from NZ. Ding dong we are not excluded.

So I knew sugar was something our bodies don’t actually need. It’s not like salt which we do need and minerals, sugar is the natural cocaine that we gourge ourselves on.  That it’s bad for your teeth and it’s in our soft drinks. That it should be a treat like substance and that we are lucky to have it. Boy, was I wrong. I don’t meant to be crude but blunt because SUGAR IS THE DEVIL.
There I said it. Done. Wow. Shit that feels great.  Fun fact in America tomato paste is classed as a vegetable. Don’t believe me then look it up!

So after a quick chat ad a soild thought about the whole topic of sugar I have decided to go sugar free for 10 days and see how I go. It’s currently days two and I’m feeling good. Coffee is strong.

What I am also excited to announce is my 3 month transformation thanks up Ruby! A person trainer and a babe from waaaaaaaay back. I have offered my body/soul to her. 5 days of training and clean eating. I will do a proper mol post later on, so hold on to your hats.

My advice/opinion is to check out the film and come to your own thoughts. Your health cannot be bought by money and you only have one body. But 10/10 would recommend. Sugar companies are crazy as f**k. Scratch the surface and you will be surprised. I am super excited about the next 10 days!

P.s I’m scared too and coming out of a horrible cold.

P.p.s I really want a holiday.

 

The 5 Sex Lessons They Don’t Teach You In High School.

So the saga continues.

Lets get in it balls deep. (My jokes are in no way ever going to be funny. We already know this but I will write them out any way cause I am a sassy gal)

Picture theses situations:

  1. Talking with a boy about sex. He says “so are you on the pill?” you say “no” and then there is this awkward tension because he hasn’t put two dots together and assumes that the pill is the only contraception. I HAVE HAD THIS SITUATION. Also had the awkward explaining that it (an IUD) looks like a fish hook but is inside me. IN NO TONE CAN YOU MAKE THIS SOUND APPEALING. If your man doesn’t know that there is other contraception out there other than the pill and a condom you should just highlight this moment. Possibly move him along.
  2. If you are about to have sex and your man say “do I have to” in regards to wearing a condom. GET UP. Do not say a word and leave. Close the door and delete his number. Yall think I am joking really Im not. Also on this same point you should not have to ask for him to wear a condom. Because the situation of you staring at him and then his dick whilst he takes his 45 second break to do the one thing he HAS to do. Real romantic. There is no if’s or but’s round this one. Goes for both girls and guys.
  3. You should be getting an STI check after every sexual partner. BOTH OF YOU. You should have a conversation about when you had one last and it should not be judgemental. It also gives you both peace of mind. If they have never had one, you should highly recommend that they do.
  4. You should also have a conversation about what is okay and what isn’t in terms of in the bedroom or outside. You don’t know. This can be as straight forward as a checklist. (There is lots online) Or a game of 40 questions. Know your boundaries and others. You might discover that you both like something but are a little too shy to say.
  5. Your sex life should also be private. No one wants to walk in on their significant other talking about your intimate details to other people you don’t know. “She loves it from behind.” *walks in, opens front door* “you can let yourself out.”

These are some of the situations in which you should take action or act upon. What I am trying to say is teach each other many things, maybe it is how to talk about sex or that their behaviour is unacceptable.

Next week we will continue on talking about this stunning topic of sex. Let me know if there is anything you really want me to address and write about. Short and sweet on your Friday night.

It looks like a ducks bill.

I am going to assume that most girls know what the topic line is about. You can laugh at that. You men can just continue reading. I have just finished writing a 1200 word essay on Frank Ocean and in my deep, panic thoughts my mind was tossing between taboo topics and societies stubbornness not to accept or talk about it.

Sex.

Hehe.

There is many topics that come along with sex and I thought I might do a series on it. Everything from contraception to society’s inability to talk about it. I am just going to start an open discussion. Open a door and leave it jammed there. Letting the information flow. I have to write a disclaimer that I am in no way a doctor or know 100% what I am talking about. I am going to talk about MY experience. Personal and raw I thought it would make for good reading. So if you find yourself thinking about anything I have written and want to know more. I might be able to help but you should go to your doctor because they are the ones who trained their whole life to help you. I am here to let you know that you shouldn’t be afraid of the topic of sex and ALL that comes with it. So shall we start with the topic of contraception. That wee gem.

Also I need to add this, if you read this and find yourself judging me. Close the door, walk away. This little community doesn’t need you. There is no judgment here. Never will be. So if you can’t handle this topic that’s okay. Stop reading. I write this because I received a very concerning email. Anonymously written it told me in great deal that the topics I confront on MY blog are not appropriate for society. Like I have stated before and as I wrote back to that individual. I am thankful for your opinion, it lets me know that people are reading hiddenunderthecovers. If the title of this blog didn’t give it away there is always an exit button. I am no way holding you here against your will, shoving this down your throat. I will bring topics to the masses that I think needs confronting. This is through a personal and not politically correct way. I swear and write how I think. Don’t like it? Click that stunning red button at the top of your screen and go back to where you were before I hurt your feelings.

SO. Contraception.

It should stop you from getting pregnant. Which is what most people are looking for. Babies are cool. I just don’t want them for 10 years thanks.

Where should you start?

Guys. Buy condoms. You can get a prescription for 144 of those bad boys. For $5. You are welcome.

Talk to your doctor. I had the issue that my doctor was someone I went to when I had a cold not when I wanted to have sex. So I went to family planning but in Nelson its called INP (independent nursing practice). Lovely ladies in there. You can just go in and chat with them about anything and ask all that you want. These people careers are based around people having sex. They know what’s up.

What should you consider?

MANY THINGS. When deciding on what you want to do you will be asked a whole bunch of questions. Family health history, sex history, and even period questions!

What am I on?

I was on the pill for a while (years). I had about 7 different types of “the pill” and discovered that my body doesn’t really like extra or blocking hormones. So I went off the pill for 3 months. It took my body 3 months to figure out how to be a body again. But I discovered that because I was on such a high  hormonal dosage I was literally a crazy woman. I had gained weight and turned into this horrible creature. So 90 days later I had lost some of my weight and my thoughts were now clear. What I had been thinking about was the fact that I now needed to get another form of contraception. Either the rod (the little hormonal stick in the inside of your arm) or an IUD (the weird-looking fish-hook that goes in your uterus) and whilst neither of those seemed appealing neither does a baby.

So I got an IUD back in 2012. It last 5 years and it has no hormones and my body and me seem to like one another. Despite my mother protest she doesn’t want another grandchild.

People do ask about what I have. Curious I guess.

Can I feel it? No.

Did it hurt to get? Feels like a cramp and there is slight discomfort but it’s over in 5 minutes.

Do I recommend it? Yes however talk to a doctor because they know what’s best for you.

How long does it last? 5 Years and you can get another one straight after.

What have you noticed since having it? Well I don’t seem to be as fat any more and much less a crazy woman. I also can see a cycle of woman stuff happening.

Downside? Pretty strong cramps. Nothing a heat patch and panadol can’t fix.

Can my boyfriend feel it? No.

Does it cost? Yes I can’t remember how much but under $100 for me. Cheap over 5 years.

How does it work? Foreign body object. The body think my uterus is not a safe place to grow a baby and the copper kills the sperm if there is any breakage with a condom. THIS IS MY INTERPRETATION. There is a hormonal version on the IUD.

Can you feel it? No.

Don’t you become infertile? There has been no conclusive study of this.

What I would really like everyone to know is that talking about contraception does not mean that you are having sex. It is used in all sorts of ways to help with health. It would be really lovely to remove that stigmatism around contraception. It is no longer “birth control” but a choice.

At the end of this week I am going to release another episode from this series (it’s a goodie) and I have to say sorry for not having a blog post for the past two weeks. University has been crazy.

10 Guy Hacks

I know this is a little late but its here. Finally 10 guy hacks brought to you by myself and with a lot of help from Jamie, le boyfriend. So as it discovers, there are not many places that have guy hacks so we are hoping that this helps all you chaps.

  1. During the day think of plausible answers to the inevitable question “what are you thinking about?” from that significant other.
  2. To avoid getting “awkward arm” when cuddling put said arm under her pillow.
  3. If you find a piece of clothing that you like. For example AS colour t-shirts. Buy three different colours. Don’t look like you never wash your clothes. You are not an animal.
  4. If you want to impress a girl whilst having her over for dinner. Get pasta and pesto. Cook the pasta, add meat and pesto. If she doesn’t like pesto or pasta. Move on.
  5. To stop your room from looking messy. Hang every single thing up that isn’t pants. T-shirts, jackets, shirts. You won’t have to fold them and it keeps them looking brand new.
  6. Have a roll on deodorant and a cologne. These are two different things. One is for your under arms and the other one is for your chest. Don’t buy lynx. You are not 14
  7. When looking for new music, always ‘radio’ (on spotify, pandora, etc) your favorite artists to see what else is similar in that genre.
  8. If you like a girl and want to get to know her, be genuine to her. Cut the cat calling and seedy eyes. Be a man and walk over to her.
  9. Have condoms. You can only blame yourself.
  10. Chivalry. If you don’t know what that is then go and use the internet.

If you are a guy reading this. (I can’t tell.) I would love to know if you are reading this. You can PM me or hit like on the FB post. I guess, the point of this post is to make you the best that you can be. If you already do all these things then congratulations on being a rather good human being.

Any way I am going to try my hardest to post more often. At least once a week for you cool kids.

Enjoy these hacks. From Seren and Jamie.

P.s Jamie would like to add he didn’t have much choice in not collaborating with Seren.

You don’t even know.

Today is Tuesday. It is also day two of the first week of uni. Auckland University thinks its a great idea to start so late. I mean its March. You know the third month into the year. But hey we do things differently way up here.

I would like to apologize for not having any recent blog posts. I have been rather blah. And I have been sorting my life out. Plus working. Being short staffed is not a fun time. I can tell you that now. I think I still need to sleep for a month to catch up.

I feel like just chatting to you all as I sit here on the couch. So, how are you? Are you well? (Like you can talk to me) Shall we discuss some things that have pissed me off lately. Shall we list them. I like doing that.

  1. People who don’t understand how lucky their situation is. Being the most basic of basic bitches. Please complain, thats what I wanted on my first day of university. A giant black cloud pouring out with rain. Take your weather elsewhere.
  2. Swollen glands. Mate, bain of my life. Can I not sound like a man. thank you.
  3. Heat. Humidity. Dammit Auckland. STAAAAAPH.
  4. People who do not smell themselves being entering into public. Yo, if I can smell you after you have been in an area. Go and deal with yourself. No one finds it sexy. Not in the slightest.

Is anyone else having trouble sleeping? Or are you all counting your sheep? Do you know what is scary is that I turn 21 this year. Jessica in my class said this “20 is such an ugly age”. And now that I think about it. I fully agree. Like what is 20? Icky. What’s worse that 20? Being 20 and engaged. Or married. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? If your news feed is anything like mine, full of babies and marriage. Last night a girl popped on my news feed, now engaged. She was born in 1996. 1996 people. SHES TURNING 19. When I was 18 I had to deal with study link. Not dimond rings. Each to their own. Just not in my 5 year plan. NO ONE GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE, YA HEAR?

You want to know an honest thoughts? I am just going to tell you anyway because you can’t say no. I have no idea what I am writing. Really its all word vomit and you are still reading. Congratulation friend. I really want a terrarium and some flowers. Lillys to sit in my bedroom and smell lovely. I am rather pissed off with one of my friends. Have been for a few months. The guy at the gym judged me for only working out for 30 mins. He doesn’t know I have a major back injury or study dance. He now sees me and comments on how long I work out for.  My mum who reads this blog. (Hey Jenny.) Told me that I missed the boat on my career and thinks I should do this all the time. Writing blogs. I thought with a debt owing to the government I could do both.

Its my last year of University and I am really not sure on whether or not I will do postgraduate studies. I could do my honors. Just a year and be done with it? I don’t know anything anymore. So watch this space.

10 Girl Hacks You Need To Know

This is my pre-valentines day gift to you ladies. Sorry that was a reminder. Ever so sorry. But love yourself. Sly tip for you.

Any way the title kinda ruined the magic of this blog post but hey, look you’re still here and reading. So go forth, and read my lovelies. If you are a boy and you are still here thats cool too, I will be doing a collaboration with my boyfriend very shortly and have 10 tips for you also. Yeeeeaah, I will have all the hacks. Will I become the ‘Hack-Queen’ I don’t know. But its 2015 so anything can happen.

So I live in what I would say is a fairly fast paced life. If I am truly honest I am rather lazy. Put those two things together and sometimes I look rather rough around the edges. I admit that. I really do envy the girls who look flawless 24/7. You all deserve some sort of crown. Now taking the equation of: needing to look flawless + not having enough time + being lazy =  10 Girl Hacks.

  1. Have chipped nail polish? Grab a glitter nail polish, gold is ideal and then dap a bit on the end of your nail and feather is out to an ombre finish. Finish with a top coat if you can be bothered.
  2. Eyelash extensions. These bad boys save you time. The first time my boyfriend called me beautiful I had eyelash extensions on. Word of warning though, do your research.
  3. Have a go to look for each season. It will save you looking and make your shopping more efficient. And your wardrobe won’t be such a lost place.
  4. If you treat yourself by getting your nails done but then also made the rookie mistake of not knowing what colour to get and the lady is now filing at a very slow pace to buy you some time. Grab a gold sparkle, nude or grey. Any of these three colour will work with any outfit.
  5. Carry around at all times; Chapstick, plasters, tampons, condom and Panadol. These are at any time a life saver. Its all about being smart. Never be caught out.
  6. Do take a multivitamin. Whether it be a woman’s daily one or something you need. I always take a multivitamin high in magnesium. You can thank me later.
  7. Wear a perfume everyday. You will then discover what it is like to have ‘a scent’. Mine is Summer by FCUK. But I love Coco Mademoiselle Chanel and Daisy by Marc Jacobs.
  8. Dry shampoo. Honestly saved me at RNV! It’s worthy of your money.
  9. Give yourself a face mask once a week. I am in love with Mask of Magnaminty by Lush. Will make your skin beautiful.
  10. Clean the wallet out. Not in terms of money but of all the things you don’t need in that bad boy. I am known for coffee cards, receipts from the bus and random lists. You will feel so much better the next time you use it.

So these are my ten girl hacks. I am sure once you have seen this I would of thought of a few more so I might do a 2.0 version. Try some of these and let me know how they go. From the girl who is just trying to keep up with another flawless beauties out there.

Misleading Daydreaming

So for once Auckland was slightly less warm than usual. Which meant to my flat “The Hot Box” being less hot and all activities being less painful and a lot less sticky. So I was sitting on the bus that was slowing chilling me from the outside in. So for once I was able to day dream and not think about how hot I was. Now I am huge on day dreaming. Could do it all day if it was needed. I mean I even did a choreographic piece on day dreaming. You see I was thinking about how only a select few say thank you to the bus driver when they hop off. So this is how my day dream went, stay with me okay?

Saying thank you to a bus driver

Being thankful.

And thats where it stopped. Long right? I then started to gather all the weird things I am thankful for.

  • Polite neighbours with adorable children.
  • Headphones.
  • Cold weather.
  • Cookies and cream ice cream.
  • Flat mates who make me laugh.
  • Physiotherapy.
  • Good banter.
  • Swimming in rivers.

Its only fair that I say these are only a few. I suppose that I was thinking about very random things and slightly concentrating on the fact that my physiotherapist had just stuck needles in my butt because thats how you fix a broken Seren.

So I finally made it to the CBD and as I hopped off the bus I said thank you to my bus driver and walked to my apartment entrance. I then thought about how much my life has changed since I first moved away from Nelson (my home town). I thought about how I could never move back for good. Not right now. That I had grown too big for that tiny town. I guess I am thankful I grew up there and now I see the appeal of raising a family there. But thats a long way off. About 10 years.

So be thankful is what I guess I am trying to say. For the weird things. Or at least go and have a day dream.