A List Of People I Hate. In Detail.

It may be the merry time of the year but its also that time of the year where we all sit back and look at the people who fucked us up and over. Its now and not at new years when most people think about that list of humans who should crawl under a rock and stay there. I was in the shower when it occurred to me that I am ruthless when it comes to friendships. Cheers for that mum. I mean I honestly need to do a Facebook detox and get rid of everyone who I don’t care about. Those popular girls from school already did that.

I won’t shed a tear guys, Im good.

So a list that comprises of the people who just make my eyes roll back into my head, sigh loudly and then stare into their eyes with no remorse. Its 2015 and I am bloody ruthless mate.

  1. Bad drivers, those who don’t indicate. People are landing on the moon, you can flip a switch.
  2. Slow walkers anywhere, this is not a time for slow moving. We all have somewhere to be. Kick it up a gear thanks.
  3. Customers who try tell you how to do your job. You don’t work here, your not my boss. Shhhhhhh, baby please.
  4. BIG ASS DRIVING MOTHERS AND THERE SHITY HAIR CUTS.
  5. The girls who are trying to sell me a waist trainer in the mall. If your selling pitch is “clearly your mum blessed you, pay her and the world back by getting our waist trainer”. I blessed myself thanks. I don’t owe anyone anything right now, at least not with my body.
  6. Anti-femminst. Its almost 2016. Equality shouldn’t be scary anymore.
  7. Anyone who is late. Without communication. If your prompt we can all get going.
  8. INTERRUPTING ANYONE. If you are this person, I gave you your chance to talk and now it is mine. If you butt in, I will start again. Same line, same way. Till you get it.
  9. Stubborn low lives who cannot get off their so called high horse to be a reasonable human being.
  10. That person who stole your car park at the during christmas hours. Special place in hell for you.
  11. Dudes who share nudes. Y’all need to grow up.
  12. People who cancel plans at the last minute, or who never show up. I see you, I see how it is. Ass hole.
  13. Those people at the airport who try get on the plane before they are called.
  14. If you don’t use deodorant. B/O is not cute.
  15. That woman who asks for a half shot decaf latte bowl. Or decaf short black. No. You can have a cup of no.
  16. People who use their phone in the movie theatres. Its dark in here. But not with your giant spot light.
  17. That girl in the club who spills her drink all over you because she’s upset that her fuckboy ran away.
  18. Those people who hold a conversation with you to only prove that they are doing better in life than you. Take your Nike Shoes, Karen Walker sunglasses  and skim milk coffee all the way out of my life.
  19. That upperclass business man who scoffs at having a career in the arts. Ya, you can go back to sitting behind a desk and work for ‘The Man.’
  20. People who try convince you to have a relationship with their God. Im good, trying to have a relationship with myself. Thats hard enough.
  21. Fuckboys.
  22. People who flick sand off their towel at the beach all into your face.
  23. If you yell. I automatically assume that we cannot have an adult conversation.
  24. Bathroom hogging mother fuckers.
  25. Liars. I see you too.

I mean come on, you have to admit, someone on this list pisses you off too. That person at the airport. Always.

Please leave a comment of who pisses you off and why. Write it down and let it go. This is your chance before 2016.

HAND ME THE TWINK.

With all this jibber jabber about #callmecaitlyn, sexuality and sex are very much in the headlines.

Hand me the twink is all about correcting and rewriting our parents mistakes and making our own future.

But I am here to talk to you about sex in this third blog post.

Sex and generation Z, its now or never really.

Despite what you think we are the generation that is changing the ideas behind what our parents raised us on.

Sex, gender, sexuality, feminism, equality was not our parents concern. They were after the war but before the revolution. I see them as chameleons. Adapting to their surroundings in order to survive. So if we are not the war children and we are not the ones fighting the war; who are we?

What we should get straight right away is that sexuality and gender are two separate things. If you didn’t know this then like I have said in the past go and educate yourself on the difference. My generation taught me that not my parents.

So who are we? Generation Z?

It seems to be the question for so many of us. Where are we going? What do I mean to society? Where is my place? Do I matter? Am I an individual?

Throw sex and all that comes with it into the mix and I can tell you that we are all slightly lost. Here is what I can help you with.

Your sexual desire, orientation, what you do under the covers or out is none of my business and as long as you are happy and not hurting someone else then go right ahead!

THERE IS DIFFERENT TYPES OF SEX? NO WAY?!

The idea that people like different types of sex still freaks people out. There is a lot out there. You have no idea! Not everyone is a vanilla lover (vanilla means regular sex) there is many flavors and you won’t know what you like until you try some out. There is BDSM, which covers a lot of things. Please don’t use Fifty Shades of Grey for your information. Bad idea. There is vanilla sex, which is what most people think of when it comes to sex. If you want to break it down there is non-penetrative sex, there is penetrative sex, there is vaginal sex, there is anal sex. Honestly most people are just scratching the surface and if that’s what you like then good on you! No one knows they like to be honest. Until you have tried almost everything. I think it rather interesting that we know what sex is but we had to find out that sex means a lot of different things to other people. What I am getting at is that there are different options out there for different people and we will break these down over the next few weeks. Looking at the do’s and don’t’s for all of them!

Then I have this MASSIVE ISSUE with the idea of “virginity”. We have been raised with this idea that when we have sex for the first time we lose something, this thing. The value of this ‘purity’ is worth waiting for a very long time before you ‘gift’ it to someone. When I ‘lost’ my ‘virginity’ it was a shit storm of a time. Not romantic. It happened and I was led to believe that I was going to feel different. I just felt very confused and lost. Betrayed by this idea that I had just been given a gift by someone else. But I was still me, no more or no less. I just wish that people wouldn’t put such a big value on the damn thing. If I have any advice for those of you about to have sex for the first time. Please hold no expectation. None. Its going to be awkward and horrible. Just know that. What is interesting is that my “gift receiver” and I still talk and chat about how funny we were because we were so clueless. That we still have this connection and despite what I think about the idea of virginity, it is the first time that I was intimate with someone and that is for me what makes him special. That is my value on it.

To put it in short I hope that generation Z makes this world better by the time we leave it. I want to be apart of society that is equal and that doesn’t bring its children up on lies. You have nothing to gift and nothing to lose. You will not become a woman because you already are. You are not born perfect and that the body you have might be the one you don’t want. You can be whoever you want to be and I will accept you for who you want to be.

My only gift to you is one of an open door. Ready for you to walk through and leave our past generations society at behind. So pass me the twink and lets get to it.

The 5 Sex Lessons They Don’t Teach You In High School.

So the saga continues.

Lets get in it balls deep. (My jokes are in no way ever going to be funny. We already know this but I will write them out any way cause I am a sassy gal)

Picture theses situations:

  1. Talking with a boy about sex. He says “so are you on the pill?” you say “no” and then there is this awkward tension because he hasn’t put two dots together and assumes that the pill is the only contraception. I HAVE HAD THIS SITUATION. Also had the awkward explaining that it (an IUD) looks like a fish hook but is inside me. IN NO TONE CAN YOU MAKE THIS SOUND APPEALING. If your man doesn’t know that there is other contraception out there other than the pill and a condom you should just highlight this moment. Possibly move him along.
  2. If you are about to have sex and your man say “do I have to” in regards to wearing a condom. GET UP. Do not say a word and leave. Close the door and delete his number. Yall think I am joking really Im not. Also on this same point you should not have to ask for him to wear a condom. Because the situation of you staring at him and then his dick whilst he takes his 45 second break to do the one thing he HAS to do. Real romantic. There is no if’s or but’s round this one. Goes for both girls and guys.
  3. You should be getting an STI check after every sexual partner. BOTH OF YOU. You should have a conversation about when you had one last and it should not be judgemental. It also gives you both peace of mind. If they have never had one, you should highly recommend that they do.
  4. You should also have a conversation about what is okay and what isn’t in terms of in the bedroom or outside. You don’t know. This can be as straight forward as a checklist. (There is lots online) Or a game of 40 questions. Know your boundaries and others. You might discover that you both like something but are a little too shy to say.
  5. Your sex life should also be private. No one wants to walk in on their significant other talking about your intimate details to other people you don’t know. “She loves it from behind.” *walks in, opens front door* “you can let yourself out.”

These are some of the situations in which you should take action or act upon. What I am trying to say is teach each other many things, maybe it is how to talk about sex or that their behaviour is unacceptable.

Next week we will continue on talking about this stunning topic of sex. Let me know if there is anything you really want me to address and write about. Short and sweet on your Friday night.